A statement.

I believe that there are no beliefs in this world.

Makes sense?

the awkward country bumpkin.

In primary school, I’ve always thought of myself as the awkward country bumpkin.
My family was this typical Chinese family where the father is the boss, his words are the laws and if you ever try to go against it, you die.

I figured that this could explain my lack of self-confidence in whatever I did during the 6 years.
I was rather clingy to my friends; I could go to their houses and play almost everyday.
Whenever teachers ask me to answer questions, I felt like I’m on death penalty.

Entered secondary school with lots of advice from my 4 sisters and still not enough self-confidence.
Joined the school band in the end, and never regretted it since.
It was then that I realised I was starting to open up, slowly.

Met great friends, loved being in band.
I was so involved in band, my father threatened me everyday.
It was fun: having dinner with the conductor, band camps, crying together when we didn’t get a medal, screamed at the top of our lungs when we got a silver after 20 years.

Being together with the tallest guy in school at that time was rather exciting too.
Some people walk pass me and they recognise me as the tallest guy’s girlfriend.
What was surprising was the fact that the teachers know about this relationship and acknowledge it.
Not the typical “studies come first” advice from the teachers; it was more of “ah, them.”

Even though I didn’t have much opportunities to be on leadership roles, it was fine.
I actually realised that I enjoyed working behind the scenes.

Then, it was the polytechnic.

Entered polytechnic with much anticipation and excitement.
Was elated when I got into the course that I like.

The people that I met in polytechnic, were awesome.

First, the class.
A bunch of crazy girls together for the whole of 3 years.
Every lecture, tutorial, class chalets, outings were full of unexpected fun and laughter.

Then, the friends I met not from my course.
They were either the friends of my friends, or the friends of the friends of my friends.
Which eventually became my friends.
I didn’t know how I managed to click with them, but somehow I did.
That was pretty cool too.

What I really want to focus on, is the student union.

I have never ever once thought that I would have such friendships with the people in the SU.
Come on, the first impression of Caili was she shouting expletives the moment I opened the door.

Even though there was unpleasantness at some point, it was overwhelmed by the fun we had.
The outings, meetings, staying at the union the whole day, the scoldings.

Who could ever forget the camps.
That was the time.

Being involved in the planning of camps was such an exhilarating experience.
The confidence that I was lacking, it was building up.

I’m no longer afraid to answer questions from anyone, I’m able to speak up in front of people (most of the time) and best of all, I am not so much of that country bumpkin who has no clue whatsoever about the world.

Now as I graduate and move on to working life, what’s to become of all these 20 years of my life?

I learnt that fuckshit happens and what’s important is not how the shit affected me, it’s how I’m going to move on from all those.
I learnt more about myself.

Most important, I learnt to be thankful for every single friendship/failed friendship I ever had.

As I celebrated Caili’s 21st birthday yesterday at Sentosa, even as my name has 2 definitions now (you meiting us! she is just being meiting), I just know that these friendships are gonna stay on for the rest of my life.